One of the great challenges that many African-American boys face is the challenge of not having a father in the home to teach them how to be a man. In this Black Friday video I discuss 5 things that African-American fathers should teach their sons. This video will also give African-American women insight into the differences between how boys operate and how men operate. Knowing these differences will help African-American women to choose the best man to be in a relationship with. In this video I outline some of the main differences between how boys operate and how men operate. His is an overview of the differences:
The differences between a boy and a man
1. Boys are irresponsible ~ Men are responsible
A boy is not responsible for himself. He needs others to take care of him. He needs others to provide for him. He needs others to discipline him. He needs others to motivate him.
A man is responsible for himself. He takes care of others. He provides for others. He is self disciplined. He is self-motivated. A man will also be responsible for:
For all that he creates
For the quality of his male-female relationship
For his children
For his family institution
For how he speaks
For how he presents himself to the world
For his word
For his financial situation
2. Boys create problems ~ Men solve problems
A boy will create problems for himself and for others. If a boy does not become a man then when he becomes and adult he will continue to create problems for himself and for others. He will also create problems in his male-female relationships.
Men solve problems. A man will develop solutions. He will create solutions for himself and for others. He will create solutions in his male-female relationships.
3. A Boy has few commitments ~ A man has many commitments
Boys have a commitment to fun, consumption, and his sexual urges.
Boys have a commitment to sexual promiscuity and disloyalty within male/female relationships.
Boys have a commitment to stagnation.
Men have a commitment to service, production, and to a woman. Men have a commitment to sexual discipline and loyalty within male-female relationships.
Men have a commitment to personal refinement.
4. Boys are selfish ~ Men are selfless
Boys are consumers. Boys take from others. Boys will not sacrifice for their children.
Men are producers. Men give to others. Men will sacrifice for their children.
5. Boys lack self-discipline ~ Men are self-disciplined
Here are five areas of discipline:
Mental discipline: A man must have mental discipline. Mental discipline means that a person is in control of their mind. They are in control of their thoughts. Whenever they have negative thoughts they discipline their minds so that they will no longer have those negative thoughts. In particular, if they have negative thoughts about women they will discipline their thoughts so that they no longer have negative thoughts about women. Mental discipline is also very important because it is the foundation of all other levels of discipline.
Verbal discipline: A man must be in control of his words. He must know when to speak, when to be silent, how to speak, what words to use, and in what tone to speak in. A man should do his best to refine his vocabulary and use words and terms that speak to his growth into manhood. As an example, if a boy is raised calling women "Bitches and Hoes" then he should discipline his words so that he no longer uses those words. A man should also work on improving his vocabulary because in doing so he will improve upon his ability to communicate.
Physical discipline: A man must be in control of his body. As an example if a man has a job to do then he must have the physical discipline needed to get up and get the job done. This also means that a man must be free of physical addiction. Physical addiction will ultimately stop a man from being in control of his body. Physical discipline is also necessary so that a man will not become physically abusive to his wife and children.
Emotional Discipline: A man must have emotional discipline in the form of emotional balance. If a man is quick to anger, quick to rage, quick to any negative emotion then he should work on his ability to control his emotions. This does not mean that a man must become emotionless. This means that a man must be in control of his emotions in such a way that his negative emotions do not impede upon his ability to operate like a man.
Sexual discipline: Sexual discipline is one of the most important forms of discipline. When a man has sexual discipline he will have control over his sexual urges. Having a high level of sexual control will increase a man's ability to be a dedicated husband to his wife and committed father to his children.